Too Much Oxygen
I played tuba by default. None of the other brass players would switch. Something about the aperture. The tuba was huge, a lot to carry on/off a bus, and forget about placing it overhead. We didn’t have overheads anyhow, this was the 70s. The Waltons. Gas lines. Leisure Suits. This was the summer I was raped.
Tuba was familiar, had the same exact fingering as the trumpet valves, which I’d started in grade school. Mom wouldn’t let me practice in the house, said it rattled our screen windows. I’d sit on our back patio blowing bass notes toward our cow pasture. They’d stare at me, chewing their cud. Probably wondering when I’d stop making that awful racket. I like cows. They’re peaceful.
Strangers stopping at our fruit and vegetable stand got an earful while they looked for a ripe cucumber. That year the word “stranger” upped a notch. Maybe two.
In 8th grade, I switched to baritone horn. Again, the fingering was familiar, and blowing that tuba had been making me pass out. Too much oxygen. Our band leader, Mr. Marks said, “We’ll have to do something about that!”
When he placed his hand on my shoulder, I flinched.
“Too Much Oxygen” first appeared in the collection
RIFT
stories by Kathy Fish + Robert Vaughan, 2015
In our dream band, on dulcimer:
Robert Vaughan is an award-winning author, playwright, and teacher. His books include Microtones (Cervena Barva, 2012), Diptychs + Triptychs + Lipsticks + Dipshits (Deadly Chaps, 2013), Addicts & Basements (CCM, 2014), RIFT (Unknown Press, 2015), Funhouse (Unknown Press, 2016), and Askew (Cowboy Jamboree, 2022). He was twice the runner-up for the Gertrude Stein Award for Fiction. His work has been widely anthologized, including the New Micro: Exceptionally Short Fiction (W.W. Norton, 2018) and Best Small Fictions 2016 and 2019 (Sonder Press), His plays have been produced in S.F., N.Y.C., and Milwaukee. He is the Editor-in-Chief of Bending Genres. robert-vaughan.com
Ran Off With the Star Bassoon 